…..A Shameless CISF employee…..

CGO Delhi, for those who have less idea, is a place that is infested with bureaucracy. It is the birth place of a lot of - “Netas for sale”, Netas on the run” stars, which we get to watch on TV (sting operations) these days.

I had the privilege of visiting one such office recently – CISF along with my colleague. The Airport security is manned by them. The PRO, Mr Vertul Singh was the person I met
The huge empty mahogany desk, with a computer on one side and an iron cupboard on the other, his room was a typical watertight compartment. A very nice classical Hindustani vocal track invited us and gave us company till the end.

He started to talk about business for a short while and then he got down to the usual talk.

“What is your zodiac?”
“Libra”
“Oh, Ok… and your husband is a…?”
“Scorpion”
“Good match, very good….”
He started to explain zodiac matched and characters of people. Wow! I didn’t know that a central govt job was a package with such luxuries!

I interrupted like I always do with such people and asked, “Are you the ones that manage Zed security too”
“Very soon we will start to; we have trained our men and all”
“Does that mean less number of ambassador cars driving in a row when ever someone travels causing chaos…?”
(He laughs and eludes…)
“So you mean no…”
“No no, we have rules and norms that we must follow according to the ‘blue book’ for these affairs. And the PM has now said that we will take care of the travel in such a way that least traffic jams occur…”

Knock on the door, one guys comes in and Singh tells him…
“hum unko bola hoon ki vo photos CD mein daal ke inko de dein”
“Jee sab…” (door closes)

Immediately turns to my colleague….
“So Vijh means..emh…where are you from, Pakistan? Or Punjab side?”
“Vijh is my husband’s name and he is from multan. Ya…”

I interrupted again…
“What was CISF’s experience in the airport strike in Delhi..?
“Nothing unusual, it was ok”
(Just to remind you, there was an IE exclusive, that talked about one traveller, who got down to cleaning the overflowing dustbins and cleaning loos whose stench was by then reverberating. This guy was physically assaulted by the employees of the airport and warned for doing any such sort of good….)
Referring this case I said, “What happened then, the CISF didn’t seem to react at all.”
He mistook the traveller to be a CISF employee….
“Dare anyone beat up a guard….”
“No no he was a traveller, poor guy…”
“Oh really, I didn’t know about this at all, oh then it is our failure….”
(haha haha lol)

It had absolutely no effect on him, he continued his usual way turning to my colleague……
“So you have acute daughter uh? You know if you are planning to have another, your husband will do very well…by the way, what did you say your husband does?”……..

Someone comes in and hands him a sheet of paper containing the quotes of various VIPs that had to go into the story. Now, obviously they were candid and we were to see some major editing. To tell you what was edited, a few examples are below.

Praful Patel (aviation minister): “friendly only in Delhi, not in other places”

Bill Gates: “I donot often travel to such a country as India. was enticed by the lively aroma of open sewer and scattered toilets. I decided to enter such a discovery when departinf from the Baroda Airport, I was stunned and shocked by your security such great service ans pleasure. After the twin tower disaster in my country I wonder if one security would be of such high standards fulfilling expectations . Nevertheless, there is always room for improvement... .”

LOL!!